I'm taking an idea from a friend (and many other bloggers) and am going to try and write occasional notes to my boys. Maybe this will help to let them know what their crazy mama was thinking when they were growing up.
To my lil' E:
My first born. I barely remember you as a baby -- I can look back and appreciate what a relatively "easy" baby you were, but having been a resident when you were born, I can't say a whole lot more. And now look at you. 4 years old. Wow. What a crazy year you've had -- essentially dealing with two new baby brothers, new daycare situations, completing your first year of preschool, and so much more.
I love listening to you talk -- your thoughts on the world, your questions, the jokes you come up with -- and I'm so sorry that I never seem to have enough time to just sit and talk with you (which is your favorite request of me). I love how you care for your brothers, particularly how protective you are when we are outside of the house with them. I love the way that you (almost) always wake up with a smile on your face. Your love of music makes me so happy -- our bedtime singing routine is probably my favorite part of the day.
This year in particular has been a big one for you. Your shyness has receded a bit since starting school, but you still like to hide behind my leg in new situations. Your increasing bravery and skill at gymnastics and at the jungle gym in the playgrounds make your dad and me so proud.
Despite the occasional crying fits and fights with your brother, I know that you have matured a lot. Even when you don't think I'm watching, I still see the way you include your little brother in your games and try to make him feel better by bringing him his favorite toys.
You have been such a trooper in this difficult time -- packing up some of your toys, helping to prepare for our big move, asking questions about our new home. I only hope you adjust as well as people keep assuring us you will.
I know we have our hard moments. Bedtime and mealtimes are still a struggle. We've had to talk about telling the truth, not hitting your brothers, limiting screen time, sharing, etc. Timeouts/punishments for bad behavior have gotten longer and more painful for everyone involved.
But when I look at you today, I can see how far you've come. How non-squishy you are. I watch you read a book by yourself on the couch and feel proud and at the same time, a little sad at not being needed anymore. I know we've been busy with the babies and the move, but I want you to remember all the fun you had during this last summer in Iowa...and how much I have loved hearing about every moment of it. :)
love,
mommy
8.04.2014
7.21.2014
the small things.
I am sure I've said this before, but with all the changes going on in our lives, I am going to try and update this blog more. I am realizing how quickly our time is passing -- and I just want to document some of our adventures and thoughts. Maybe one day, our boys will look back at this and be able to catch a glimpse of what their mommy was thinking.
Anyway, things around here have been hectic - boards, conferences, the upcoming move, and just the normal business of a household of three little boys under 4. The hubs had a conference in Chicago this past weekend, and I tagged along to get some studying done (and eat and see friends, of course). It was a gorgeous weekend -- perfect weather, outdoor concerts, meeting up with friends, yummy treats and sleep uninterrupted by the various cries of our boys.
But, as always, as awesome as it was to get away for short time, the best part was coming home. It's nice that they are still at an age when they actually miss us and are happy to have us home. Hugs, babbling, jumping, bear hugs -- yup, coming home is the best. I happily soaked up the extra snuggles and mixed-up stories...heck, we even celebrated with ice cream.
Now, this upcoming move is making me more nostalgic and emotional than usual. So this morning, before heading off to study, I decided to do preschool drop-off (I haven't been to school since summer session started). It was actually pretty wonderful to listen to my lil guy singing in the car, to see how excited he was to show me around school, and to hear about how the teachers are refusing to let him move with us because they'll miss him so much. To top it all off, a little girl in his class came up to me shyly and told me she liked my shoes (tangerine Tieks!) and dress. :)
Here's to taking pleasure in the small things. Have a great day!
Anyway, things around here have been hectic - boards, conferences, the upcoming move, and just the normal business of a household of three little boys under 4. The hubs had a conference in Chicago this past weekend, and I tagged along to get some studying done (and eat and see friends, of course). It was a gorgeous weekend -- perfect weather, outdoor concerts, meeting up with friends, yummy treats and sleep uninterrupted by the various cries of our boys.
But, as always, as awesome as it was to get away for short time, the best part was coming home. It's nice that they are still at an age when they actually miss us and are happy to have us home. Hugs, babbling, jumping, bear hugs -- yup, coming home is the best. I happily soaked up the extra snuggles and mixed-up stories...heck, we even celebrated with ice cream.
Now, this upcoming move is making me more nostalgic and emotional than usual. So this morning, before heading off to study, I decided to do preschool drop-off (I haven't been to school since summer session started). It was actually pretty wonderful to listen to my lil guy singing in the car, to see how excited he was to show me around school, and to hear about how the teachers are refusing to let him move with us because they'll miss him so much. To top it all off, a little girl in his class came up to me shyly and told me she liked my shoes (tangerine Tieks!) and dress. :)
Here's to taking pleasure in the small things. Have a great day!
7.12.2014
7.12.2014
Whew! It’s been a while….and, well, we have been busy!
Quick recap: Our youngest son was born just 14 months after
his older brother, during the longest/harshest winter that any of us in the
Midwest can remember. Thankfully, aside
from some early concerns with jaundice/weight loss, he’s been a very healthy
and relatively easy-going baby. After 6
months, I’d say that we’ve (mostly) adjusted to being a family of 5. The older
boys generally range from merely tolerating to absolutely adoring their baby
brother. It’s been wonderful to see.
After many trials and long nights, our two older boys are (relatively)
happily sharing a room. Most importantly, all three boys are sleeping through
the night (at least for this week)!
With the warmer weather, we find ourselves busy with visits
from family, trips to the farmer’s market, playgrounds/pools, tots’ soccer,
Friday night concerts and all the various festivals. Sadly, I have not been as
involved as I would like, since I am trying to study for my upcoming Critical
Care boards this August. We are
thoroughly trying to enjoy summer in Iowa City, as we do every year (love that
the students are gone!), but this year feels more special than usual, as it
will be our last.
After many late-night discussions, pro-con lists, and prayers,
we have decided to move to Tucson, Arizona this fall. While we have many
reasons to make the move (being closer to family, career opportunities, and warmer
weather to name a few), we have so many things we will miss about our life in
Iowa City. It is where we started our married life together, completed our
medical training and had all 3 of our beautiful babies. We’ve made wonderful
friends, lived in a dream home and enjoyed a 5-minute commute to work! Our time
here has been truly blessed….
Now, I don’t know if Tucson will end up being our “forever”
home, and we may even end up back here, but it is time for us to move on. We
are simultaneously excited, sad, scared, and joyful. Even with this jumble of
bittersweet emotions, I know in my heart that it is the right choice for our
family at this time in our lives. We will sincerely miss Iowa City (and all
that it encompasses) more than I can express.
I know I haven’t talked to many of you recently, but I just
want to thank everyone for your continued love, support and friendship
throughout our lives. And come visit us in sunny, warm Arizona (in the
winter)!!
1.03.2014
1.3.2014
The Littlest e. Part 2.
Rang in the new year with my little guy from the hospital bed. Things went well and we were discharged home on the 1st. He truly is the littlest e -- the smallest of my three boys, born the earliest, at 37 4/7 weeks. We've been struggling with his weight, hydration and jaundice so it's been a bit more stressful than we had even anticipated these last couple of days. But at today's check, he's much more active and starting to gain weight, so I am hopeful that we are turning the corner.
Little e loves his second baby brother....so much so that he's asking where his third baby brother is right now (he thinks he must be in Daddy's belly). Littler e is too young to really know what's going on...and has been a wee bit jealous. But looks for him constantly if not in his line of vision. While I'm not delusional, I am hopeful that this moderate amount of harmony lasts.
As for the name. Now, little e was almost Henry...and we never would have found ourselves in this little dilemma. As it is, we were sort of stuck with the task of finding another boy e name that we liked. Turns out, after 2, it gets harder and harder. Particularly when there are several restrictions (not too common, not too weird, not monosyllabic, reasonable nickname if absolutely necessary, etc).
So, despite knowing for the last 15 weeks or so that this newest addition was a boy, we hadn't decided on a name. We hadn't really even come up with the last few contenders. Chalk it up to wishful thinking, but I suppose we just hoped that seeing him in person would result in some sort of epiphany. It didn't happen. But waking up every 3-4 hrs in a hospital bed for vitals checks, meds, breastfeeding, pain, has a way of making one do some thinking. After way too much discussion, and even some unprecedented asking for advice (which we have never done with names), we narrowed it down to 2. We tested them out. Every hour seemed to result in a changing decision. We told our family (including little e) the 2 remaining choices.
The morning of hospital discharge arrived. The birth certificate paperwork was completed, aside from the actual name. Time was running out. The hubs arrived in the morning and had decided on the name (let's just say it was e1). We really liked them both, so at that point, I was just happy that a decision had been reached. I finally completed the paperwork, but as I was about to hand it to the nurse, we all realized that we had forgotten the check for the Dept of Health. No big deal - hubs was going to come back to pick me up in a couple of hours anyway.
So I spent the remainder of them morning waiting for my scripts to be filled, packing my bags, getting littlest e dressed. Then my phone buzzes. It's a funny little text from our nanny's daughter, saying that little e is furious. According to him, we were WRONG on the name. This baby brother was supposed to have the other name, which we'll just call e2. Little e had apparently been referring to his new brother as e2 since the previous day. We all laughed a bit and assured him that if there was another baby brother, we could use e2, but that the name had been decided and it was e1. He adamantly insisted that we were wrong. This was simple to him. Baby brother's name was not something we could decide because he already had a name. He just kept insisting that baby brother was e2.
I was annoyed and tired. I mean, come on. After all of this, my 3 year old was going to scold us about his brother's name? Then I thought about it. Maybe he was right. This wasn't about a name that we liked better or whatnot, it was about who this new baby brother was. And then I thought about everything else. Maybe it was more than just forgetfulness that resulted in us not having brought the check for the form. Maybe it was just exhaustion that had made me mess up something on the paperwork that I'd have to redo anyway. Maybe the stars were just aligning to give us enough time to make things right. Maybe there was more wisdom to little e's frustration than we'd ever think to give him credit for. Maybe God was trying to tell us something....
or maybe I was just too tired to fight my 3 year old's completely random fixation.
Whatever it was, when they brought me a fresh form to fill out, Hubs and I put in the other name, which by the way, means fruitful and increasing -- which is exactly what this newest baby has been for this family.
So you know what? I think that little e was right all along. Thank God for my children. :)
Rang in the new year with my little guy from the hospital bed. Things went well and we were discharged home on the 1st. He truly is the littlest e -- the smallest of my three boys, born the earliest, at 37 4/7 weeks. We've been struggling with his weight, hydration and jaundice so it's been a bit more stressful than we had even anticipated these last couple of days. But at today's check, he's much more active and starting to gain weight, so I am hopeful that we are turning the corner.
Little e loves his second baby brother....so much so that he's asking where his third baby brother is right now (he thinks he must be in Daddy's belly). Littler e is too young to really know what's going on...and has been a wee bit jealous. But looks for him constantly if not in his line of vision. While I'm not delusional, I am hopeful that this moderate amount of harmony lasts.
As for the name. Now, little e was almost Henry...and we never would have found ourselves in this little dilemma. As it is, we were sort of stuck with the task of finding another boy e name that we liked. Turns out, after 2, it gets harder and harder. Particularly when there are several restrictions (not too common, not too weird, not monosyllabic, reasonable nickname if absolutely necessary, etc).
So, despite knowing for the last 15 weeks or so that this newest addition was a boy, we hadn't decided on a name. We hadn't really even come up with the last few contenders. Chalk it up to wishful thinking, but I suppose we just hoped that seeing him in person would result in some sort of epiphany. It didn't happen. But waking up every 3-4 hrs in a hospital bed for vitals checks, meds, breastfeeding, pain, has a way of making one do some thinking. After way too much discussion, and even some unprecedented asking for advice (which we have never done with names), we narrowed it down to 2. We tested them out. Every hour seemed to result in a changing decision. We told our family (including little e) the 2 remaining choices.
The morning of hospital discharge arrived. The birth certificate paperwork was completed, aside from the actual name. Time was running out. The hubs arrived in the morning and had decided on the name (let's just say it was e1). We really liked them both, so at that point, I was just happy that a decision had been reached. I finally completed the paperwork, but as I was about to hand it to the nurse, we all realized that we had forgotten the check for the Dept of Health. No big deal - hubs was going to come back to pick me up in a couple of hours anyway.
So I spent the remainder of them morning waiting for my scripts to be filled, packing my bags, getting littlest e dressed. Then my phone buzzes. It's a funny little text from our nanny's daughter, saying that little e is furious. According to him, we were WRONG on the name. This baby brother was supposed to have the other name, which we'll just call e2. Little e had apparently been referring to his new brother as e2 since the previous day. We all laughed a bit and assured him that if there was another baby brother, we could use e2, but that the name had been decided and it was e1. He adamantly insisted that we were wrong. This was simple to him. Baby brother's name was not something we could decide because he already had a name. He just kept insisting that baby brother was e2.
I was annoyed and tired. I mean, come on. After all of this, my 3 year old was going to scold us about his brother's name? Then I thought about it. Maybe he was right. This wasn't about a name that we liked better or whatnot, it was about who this new baby brother was. And then I thought about everything else. Maybe it was more than just forgetfulness that resulted in us not having brought the check for the form. Maybe it was just exhaustion that had made me mess up something on the paperwork that I'd have to redo anyway. Maybe the stars were just aligning to give us enough time to make things right. Maybe there was more wisdom to little e's frustration than we'd ever think to give him credit for. Maybe God was trying to tell us something....
or maybe I was just too tired to fight my 3 year old's completely random fixation.
Whatever it was, when they brought me a fresh form to fill out, Hubs and I put in the other name, which by the way, means fruitful and increasing -- which is exactly what this newest baby has been for this family.
So you know what? I think that little e was right all along. Thank God for my children. :)
1.02.2014
1.2.2014
The Littlest e. Part 1.
What a crazy couple of weeks we've had. Reading my last post, I have to giggle. Let's recap.
After a whirlwind of activity this fall (studying for oral boards, PASSING to become a board-certified anesthesiologist, prepping for littler e's 1st birthday, having tons of family visit us over a couple of weeks to celebrate, etc), I figured I could finally catch my breath and get ready for the littlest e's arrival. Turns out I was wrong.
I kept attributing the way I was feeling to just being so tired from all the events, chasing a toddler and preschooler around, working and being pregnant. So I just kept chugging along. URI's and GI bugs went through the family....and my URI stuck around for weeks and weeks (still lingering a bit now!!). The boys started to share a bedroom...and the transition, which started on Thanksgiving, is still, well, transitioning. So, sure, anyone would feel crappy when a full night's sleep is a distant memory, right? I mean, every morning, I'd wake up with an even bigger belly than the night before, a 3 year old with his feet tucked under my side, an unhappy 1 year old with a nose full of snot and an exhausted husband who is working full time and trying to handle the kids at night because mommy is pregnant.
Still, we survived and kept on plowing though it all. I had bouts of feeling "funny" and would always have relatively high blood pressure at my OB visits -- but, um, duh? After much hemming and hawing about stopping work before my actual schedule c-section date (btw, why do we women-physicians do this to ourselves? It's like unless we hurt ourselves and have a medical necessity to stop working, we just feel like we can't play the pregnant "card" -- as if we are abusing it somehow? Sigh. A post for another day), I decided to start my leave 2 working days earlier than I had originally planned. Whoo! What a huge decision. Hah.
And then, bam! Last Saturday, after dropping the boys off at a b-ball game, totally unexpectedly, I ruled in for what was looking like mild pre-eclampsia....and had to decide to have my section the next morning.
And so, the littlest e made his arrival on December 29, 2013 at 11:43 am. 7 lbs, 12.5 oz, 20 inches.
Yay! We made it! Now all we had to do was settle on a name. Who knew that that may have been the harder step?
What a crazy couple of weeks we've had. Reading my last post, I have to giggle. Let's recap.
After a whirlwind of activity this fall (studying for oral boards, PASSING to become a board-certified anesthesiologist, prepping for littler e's 1st birthday, having tons of family visit us over a couple of weeks to celebrate, etc), I figured I could finally catch my breath and get ready for the littlest e's arrival. Turns out I was wrong.
I kept attributing the way I was feeling to just being so tired from all the events, chasing a toddler and preschooler around, working and being pregnant. So I just kept chugging along. URI's and GI bugs went through the family....and my URI stuck around for weeks and weeks (still lingering a bit now!!). The boys started to share a bedroom...and the transition, which started on Thanksgiving, is still, well, transitioning. So, sure, anyone would feel crappy when a full night's sleep is a distant memory, right? I mean, every morning, I'd wake up with an even bigger belly than the night before, a 3 year old with his feet tucked under my side, an unhappy 1 year old with a nose full of snot and an exhausted husband who is working full time and trying to handle the kids at night because mommy is pregnant.
Still, we survived and kept on plowing though it all. I had bouts of feeling "funny" and would always have relatively high blood pressure at my OB visits -- but, um, duh? After much hemming and hawing about stopping work before my actual schedule c-section date (btw, why do we women-physicians do this to ourselves? It's like unless we hurt ourselves and have a medical necessity to stop working, we just feel like we can't play the pregnant "card" -- as if we are abusing it somehow? Sigh. A post for another day), I decided to start my leave 2 working days earlier than I had originally planned. Whoo! What a huge decision. Hah.
And then, bam! Last Saturday, after dropping the boys off at a b-ball game, totally unexpectedly, I ruled in for what was looking like mild pre-eclampsia....and had to decide to have my section the next morning.
And so, the littlest e made his arrival on December 29, 2013 at 11:43 am. 7 lbs, 12.5 oz, 20 inches.
Yay! We made it! Now all we had to do was settle on a name. Who knew that that may have been the harder step?
10.10.2013
10.10.2013
Another year has gone by....where does the time go?
In 2 days, the "littler" e will be a year old. And, provided all goes well, the newest, "littlest" e will be born in January. When I think back on the last 3 years, I cannot believe how incredibly blessed we are to have our lovely, healthy family of rambunctious boys.
Not surprisingly, motherhood has been on my mind a lot recently. And I know that people everywhere have talked, thought, vented and ranted about this for years, but I just wanted to put my thoughts down on paper (so to speak).
Being a parent is hard.
I don't care if one is a stay-at-home parent, working parent, single parent, or whatever else -- parenting is hard. Yes, it is often wonderful and rewarding, but seriously, it can be extremely difficult. There are a million things to do, choices to be made, problems and worries to agonize over...and it's seemingly never-ending. And with facebook, the internet, friends, co-workers and everyone else in the world looking over your shoulder (or so it seems), there is just so much judgment -- from others and ourselves. Breast vs. bottle. Organic vs. non-organic. "Natural" vs medically assisted births. PTO involvement. Extra-curriculars. SAHP vs working. The arguments and criticisms never end. Why do we make this often thankless, relentlessly taxing feat even harder than it is? And why do so many of us feel the need to complain and rant as a way to secretly brag and show off the "badge of honor" that comes with being a parent?
I'm as guilty of all of this as everyone else out there. I'm all for celebrating, asking for help, supporting each other, commiserating at times....but sometimes, I just wish we, as parents, would all stop complaining, whining, judging, comparing, defending our choices and bragging. Parenting is exhausting enough as it is, I don't want to be expending extra energy with all this other nonsense.
*Plop*
That's my big pregnant self inelegantly stepping off of my soapbox.
In 2 days, the "littler" e will be a year old. And, provided all goes well, the newest, "littlest" e will be born in January. When I think back on the last 3 years, I cannot believe how incredibly blessed we are to have our lovely, healthy family of rambunctious boys.
Not surprisingly, motherhood has been on my mind a lot recently. And I know that people everywhere have talked, thought, vented and ranted about this for years, but I just wanted to put my thoughts down on paper (so to speak).
Being a parent is hard.
I don't care if one is a stay-at-home parent, working parent, single parent, or whatever else -- parenting is hard. Yes, it is often wonderful and rewarding, but seriously, it can be extremely difficult. There are a million things to do, choices to be made, problems and worries to agonize over...and it's seemingly never-ending. And with facebook, the internet, friends, co-workers and everyone else in the world looking over your shoulder (or so it seems), there is just so much judgment -- from others and ourselves. Breast vs. bottle. Organic vs. non-organic. "Natural" vs medically assisted births. PTO involvement. Extra-curriculars. SAHP vs working. The arguments and criticisms never end. Why do we make this often thankless, relentlessly taxing feat even harder than it is? And why do so many of us feel the need to complain and rant as a way to secretly brag and show off the "badge of honor" that comes with being a parent?
I'm as guilty of all of this as everyone else out there. I'm all for celebrating, asking for help, supporting each other, commiserating at times....but sometimes, I just wish we, as parents, would all stop complaining, whining, judging, comparing, defending our choices and bragging. Parenting is exhausting enough as it is, I don't want to be expending extra energy with all this other nonsense.
*Plop*
That's my big pregnant self inelegantly stepping off of my soapbox.
9.24.2012
36 2/7 weeks
*Sigh*
As usual, it's been ages since I've posted. Let's see, since last August, I've passed my written anesthesia boards, started (and nearly finished with) my critical care fellowship, gotten pregnant with our 2nd baby boy (nickname: dubu = tofu in korean because the hubs said my belly was soft and mushy, ugh).
We also traveled a ton:
What else? We've watched our lil E grow into a bilingual, Thomas-loving, potty-trained, sweet darling 2.5 year old who can't wait to be a "big brother" soon. The hubs had an eventful year too -- he sold his beloved WRX, had shoulder surgery, was awarded a grant and has really settled into a great balance of career and family life. I accepted a faculty position at UIHC. We're contemplating the purchase of a minivan (yikes!). It's been a wonderful whirlwind of a year. And there's so much left to happen.
And so I leave you with another *sigh* -- one that is a mixture of excitement, a bit of anxiety, contentment and mostly just a sign that I can barely breathe with this huge belly.
As usual, it's been ages since I've posted. Let's see, since last August, I've passed my written anesthesia boards, started (and nearly finished with) my critical care fellowship, gotten pregnant with our 2nd baby boy (nickname: dubu = tofu in korean because the hubs said my belly was soft and mushy, ugh).
We also traveled a ton:
 |
| Seoul/Hong Kong |
 |
| LA |
 |
| Minnesota |
 |
| Arizona |
 |
| Napa/SF |
 |
| San Diego |
 |
| New York |
What else? We've watched our lil E grow into a bilingual, Thomas-loving, potty-trained, sweet darling 2.5 year old who can't wait to be a "big brother" soon. The hubs had an eventful year too -- he sold his beloved WRX, had shoulder surgery, was awarded a grant and has really settled into a great balance of career and family life. I accepted a faculty position at UIHC. We're contemplating the purchase of a minivan (yikes!). It's been a wonderful whirlwind of a year. And there's so much left to happen.
And so I leave you with another *sigh* -- one that is a mixture of excitement, a bit of anxiety, contentment and mostly just a sign that I can barely breathe with this huge belly.
 |
| Our family of three, enjoying the last few days of summer and waiting for the arrival of baby #2! |
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