I'm taking an idea from a friend (and many other bloggers) and am going to try and write occasional notes to my boys. Maybe this will help to let them know what their crazy mama was thinking when they were growing up.
To my lil' E:
My first born. I barely remember you as a baby -- I can look back and appreciate what a relatively "easy" baby you were, but having been a resident when you were born, I can't say a whole lot more. And now look at you. 4 years old. Wow. What a crazy year you've had -- essentially dealing with two new baby brothers, new daycare situations, completing your first year of preschool, and so much more.
I love listening to you talk -- your thoughts on the world, your questions, the jokes you come up with -- and I'm so sorry that I never seem to have enough time to just sit and talk with you (which is your favorite request of me). I love how you care for your brothers, particularly how protective you are when we are outside of the house with them. I love the way that you (almost) always wake up with a smile on your face. Your love of music makes me so happy -- our bedtime singing routine is probably my favorite part of the day.
This year in particular has been a big one for you. Your shyness has receded a bit since starting school, but you still like to hide behind my leg in new situations. Your increasing bravery and skill at gymnastics and at the jungle gym in the playgrounds make your dad and me so proud.
Despite the occasional crying fits and fights with your brother, I know that you have matured a lot. Even when you don't think I'm watching, I still see the way you include your little brother in your games and try to make him feel better by bringing him his favorite toys.
You have been such a trooper in this difficult time -- packing up some of your toys, helping to prepare for our big move, asking questions about our new home. I only hope you adjust as well as people keep assuring us you will.
I know we have our hard moments. Bedtime and mealtimes are still a struggle. We've had to talk about telling the truth, not hitting your brothers, limiting screen time, sharing, etc. Timeouts/punishments for bad behavior have gotten longer and more painful for everyone involved.
But when I look at you today, I can see how far you've come. How non-squishy you are. I watch you read a book by yourself on the couch and feel proud and at the same time, a little sad at not being needed anymore. I know we've been busy with the babies and the move, but I want you to remember all the fun you had during this last summer in Iowa...and how much I have loved hearing about every moment of it. :)
love,
mommy
