8.2.2011

As I sit here for a few quiet moments before I'm off to take this dreaded exam, I am reminded of just how incredibly blessed I am. I have an amazing, supportive husband who has put up with my stress of the last few months. I have friends who love me and are always willing to help me. I have family (as far away as they may be) who are healthy and praying for me. I have a little boy who loves me unconditionally and has a smile that makes all of my problems seem to melt away. No matter what happens today, I am grateful for all that the Lord has blessed me with -- He is good, and I am so humbled.

blink.

that's how fast my life seems to be moving these days.  i am a mother....of a one year old. a 14 month old, actually. he runs, makes faces on purpose, laughs, babbles, makes demands, gives sweet hugs and kisses, and basically just melts my heart.

this blog was supposed to be a way for me to stop and take note of what goes on around me. to chronicle little e's early days, so that he could look back one day and get a glimpse of the world from his momma's perspective. as it is with most things, i haven't been very successful in keeping this blog updated. but i have been enjoying every second that i spend with my boys - laughing with them, scolding them and cooking/baking for them (there are banana mini-chocolate chip muffins cooling as i type).

recently, there have been many moments when it hits me that life is happening whether or not i am taking notice. i look over and my boy's baby face is gone...he's become a toddler. residency is almost over...i'm one step closer to being a "grown up" or something. it's actually bittersweet knowing that i will never get this time back. here's to trying to savor the moments as they happen.

happy valentine's!

whoops! how did another 5 months go by without a post? oh well. spring is starting to creep up on us (at least this week), and with that come new beginnings, right?

our little boy is 11 months old today. what a journey. he's laughing, crawling, barely walking and eating us out of house and home. and the hubs and i are learning that we still have so much to learn about loving each other and building our family. it's been hard at times, but oh so worth it. my love and respect for the man i married grows each and every day.

anyone who knows me is aware that i don't "do" holidays. but i do want to take the time to acknowledge my hubs (to all 3 of you that might read this). he's the love of my life, my better half, baby E's favorite person in the whole world, and the greatest gift on this earth that God has given me.

love you!

the two men in my life. :)

6 months.

I have been fighting a cold - one that I'm fairly certain I got from my husband. Seems fitting somehow as I write this - a little over six months ago, I woke up one day feeling awful. My husband had been sick, and I had woken up with myalgias, fevers and other cold symptoms. I was also having regular contractions. Gosh, I remember wanting to pummel the hubs for giving me a cold on top of having to be in labor. It was a long day filled with anticipation, discomfort, growing excitement and fear. Yes, fear. Fear of the pain, fear from knowing a little too well about all the complications of labor and delivery, fear of the major change that was coming to our tidy little life...and an overall fear of failure. Failure to be a good (read: not obnoxious) patient (sounds silly, but other medical folks will know what I mean), failure to be a good resident, housekeeper, cook, friend, wife, daughter, sister and, of course, mother.

The next 36 hours went by...after waiting at home until 11 pm, followed by 14 hrs of laboring in the hospital and finally undergoing a c-section, our baby boy was born. A son! A real, live human being who was now an integral part of our lives. And here we are, 6 months later, in awe of every moment with baby E since that day...as the hubs and I watch our little man learn about the world around him, seeing the change in his eyes as he discovers something new, tasting solid food for the first time, figuring out how to use his body to maneuver himself across the room to get to his favorite toy, seeing the recognition in his face as his flashes a huge grin when he sees us, reaching out his hands to us. I've heard some people say that it is impossible not to acknowledge that there is a God when impressed with the awesomeness of some great beauty or feat of nature...and I feel the same way every time I look at this amazingly, precious gift that God has given to us. Looking at this tiny creature, I am daily humbled, grateful, terrified and honored all at once.

6 months. What an incredible journey it has been. And I can't wait to see what's next. :)

Fall.

Cooler temps, deep reddish-orange leaves, that crisp, clean scent in the air as I walk into the hospital in the morning -- it's unmistakable, fall is making its arrival. Sure, it still gets super warm during the day and the AC still kicks in most of the time, but my favorite season is upon us. I love wearing long sleeves with scarves, cute jackets, jeans and closed toed shoes -- without having to add the extra bulk. The earthy browns, reds, oranges and deep purples are my favorite colors (ask anyone who has seen my wedding pictures). Football, warm apple cider, mugs of hot chocolate...comfort foods like one-dish pastas, kalbi-jjim (korean braised short ribs), dahn hobahk jook (sweet butternut squash porridge)...that's what fall makes me think of. Before fall comes into full swing, we've been saying goodbye to summer with friendly bbq's (amazing chicken wings and bacon burgers), fresh cocktails (with lemonade and cucumbers!) and walks outside without bugs!!

This time last year, I remember being pregnant and entertaining my darling nieces. Looking back, I can't believe the changes that one year brought to our lives. Niece #1, S, went from kissing "jellybean" goodnight in my belly, being unsure that she would like him since he was going to be a boy, to admitting that he was "really cute and soft, even for a boy baby" when she finally came to see him. The hubs and I went from being us 2, to a family of 3. We've survived sleepless nights, our 3rd anniversary, moving, new jobs and falling in love with baby E.

E after his first haircut. It was rather traumatic for me, but it had to be done since his hair was always in his eyes!

All this change also reminds me, yet again, that I've been very lazy about updating this blog -- I will try to do better. My last post had E at 12 weeks and now he's just about 6 months old!! My little man continues to steal the show, as well as my heart, daily in our happy home.

New beginnings.

Ever since our little Eli arrived, life in the world of emonster has been turned topsy-turvy. I can't believe that he's 12 weeks old today. I also can't believe that I had to buy him 6-12 month clothing yesterday cuz nothing else fits, but that's a different story. The last 3 months have been filled with tears, laughter, moments of despair/helplessness followed by incredible times of joy and happiness. I know it's cliche, but this lil guy has stolen our hearts and changed our lives forever.

But even with all of that, we still have to find a way back to "normalcy" -- as a friend of mine put it, it's all about finding a "new" normal. And so, the hubs and I are trying to do the things we used to do -- cook and eat at home, work out (some), and just find time to watch SYTYCD! To that end, I've started a realistic workout routine (mostly just walking sessions with Eli and maybe a couple of 30 minute sessions/week of some weights) and we just received our first CSA share of the season! We know we're behind the times a bit with this, but we're super excited to use all the fresh produce and support one of our favorite local farms at the same time.

This week, I'll be using spinach, green garlic (woohoo!), asparagus, carrots, various lettuces and radishes to make some yummy salads and sides. The hubs will be in charge of protein. And for dessert, we'll be polishing off some lemon-blueberry cheesecake bars from last week. Yummy? Yes. Good for my post-partum getting back into shape? Who cares?! :)

Jellybean.

Long overdue, as usual, but here he is -- our little Jellybean. He was a whopping 8 lbs, 13.3 oz, a little over 20 in, born on 3.14.2010 at 3:35 pm. Since his arrival, it's been a life of sleepless nights, family visits, food cooked by loving friends and pure joy mixed in with exhaustion. I can't believe he's already almost 6 weeks old! Where has the time gone?!